I am back...

...was just taking a "vacation" from the blog. But I realize there are may people following it and wondering about it... and I wanted to THANK everyone for the support...

Last I spoke about new options perhaps or things that may help dad live a better everyday life.
We met with Karen, the nurse practitioner on Thursday August 19th. (we came to find out this past weekend, she attends our church as well- Saint Michael's- I thought it was neat to see her, she just had a surgery herself to remove skin cancer from her lip.) At the appointment we asked all the questions we had planned to ask. One was for physical therapist, and -guess what?- dad decides while I am asking her that he doesn't want physical therapy... GREAT!!! gr.. stubborn- he makes me angry sometimes... but OK... I will let it slide this time... lol
The other question was about 'Quadramet'- the radio active material to reduce pain in his bones- she said she will investigate on that and let us know next time we see the doctor, which is coming up Sept 9th. (I just can't believe it is September already!!)
Last question was pertaining to his red blood counts and bone marrow stimulants. I am so glad I asked- the same day he received a shot of it. This helped him for a couple days to feel more energy.

Their decision on treatment: Same, one more cycle of Velcade, Doxil, and Dexamethasone.

He started by doing velcade on the 19th. Last week he had doxil and velcade and this past Monday one more velcade. END of this cycle- THANK GOD!!

Dad is very weak right now. He was in bed 80% of the time last week- and this past weekend. He's been very nauseous, and very tired. He went two days without barely eating anything. Muscle atrophy is something we are very familiar with at this point. Dad's legs are skinnier then mine and he's lost more weight. Right now his weight is 62 Kilos or 136.5 pounds. His ideal weight should be at no less then 154 pounds. So we must work on adding those 20 pounds soon.

Although he is weak, and at times emotionally sensitive, he is sooooo incredibly strong- his faith, his strength is really something out of this WORLD. I thank God everyday for that.

I know this is taking a toll on all of us at home. If you never had anyone with a disease or disability at home you may not understand, but it takes a toll. WE are living with cancer, not just him- it is hard for some people to grasp that, unless they were going through the same thing. I know I would not be able to understand otherwise. We have our moments of great weaknesses. I try to live my life as normally as I can, but sometimes all of this hits me, and hits me hard inside.It is a feeling that I cannot describe- pure sadness- emptiness... It rips you inside. I carry this problem with me in my heart everywhere I go. I go to bed with it, I wake up with it, I exercise, eat, breath, drink, smile, party, work, live with it. But I let it out by crying, by praying- So I consider myself one of the luckiest persons alive.

I am so lucky because I have friends, family, love, support, faith... I am so lucky to be able to be next to my parents thru this. I am sooo lucky to be able to help as much as I can... I am so lucky to have people all around me that understand and want to help! I am lucky because during this journey I have met new friends- nurses, cancer patients, doctors, friends of friends, coworkers, people I wouldn't otherwise be blessed to know.... People that really make a difference in others lives. I have found inspiration, and motivation... So if you ask me how lucky I am, I would say I am so incredibly blessed! I think sometimes we are too busy with our everyday lives to count our blessings and thank God. But if we take a moment and think of our lives- do we recognize all of the blessings? They are all around us, as a matter of fact, WE are blessings...


Dad will draw blood next Tuesday to find out if the chemo has been effective or not, then Thursday we will find out from the doc what is next... He will have at least a 10 day break from the chemotherapy- time to renew, eat, exercise and get strong again!!!

KEEP praying!! - I will be going to Florida for the long weekend with Mike. But I will try and make a few more posts by the end of the week.
I just spoke with dad and he is feeling better then yesterday- See!!!! - Another blessing!!